It's Not Where You Start, 

It's Where You Finish

When I began writing this blog, I had hoped it would be a place to share helpful tips for those living with ADHD. Quite frankly, the writing was tedious and somewhat boring. So….I am taking a new direction. Not only do I coach people with ADHD, I too, struggle with the disorder, and have done so for my entire life. I have decided that sharing my experiences with ADHD, and how I have overcome some of those challenges, would not only be helpful, but far more entertaining. J

I was diagnosed, when, my then 7-year-old daughter was diagnosed. Her pediatric neurologist looked at me and said, “You know where she got it from, right?” I was stunned. He then said, “I bet you consume extremely large amounts of caffeine.” I did, and still do. He told me I had been self-medicating for most of life. I had always wondered why caffeine never kept me awake or gave me jitters. At that moment, I knew. And I suddenly thought…OY!

I learned a lot from my daughter’s diagnosis. I have always sought out answers to the unknown…still do. So true to form I read everything I could get my hands on. The more I read, the more I saw myself. ADHD wasn't a known entity when I was a child. The only people who were identified were overactive boys, and even then, they were labeled “hyperactive” with no reference to attention deficit. I was misunderstood, called lazy and impulsive, and was definitely not the favorite child that my diligent organized sister was. Oh, I had the best of intentions…just not the tools to bring them to fruition.

In the years following that afternoon in the Dr’s office, I have looked back at how I have handled some of the challenges associated with ADHD. I realized that although I may be deficient in some areas of life, i.e., organization, focus, completion of tasks, etc, I definitely excel at others. I am highly intelligent, have a huge heart, and have a wicked sense of humor. My memory is insane…which is both a blessing and a curse. I can be very logical, but can also see things in a way that others do not. To put a positive spin on it…I think outside the box.

So, although I spent much of my life being told I was screwing up, I now know that it just ain’t so.  I have had to deal with challenges that most of my family, friends and colleagues never encountered. My sister will never understand why I can’t clean a room without being completely overwhelmed…much the same way I will never understand how she can attack any project and get it done in a few hours. Her brain just doesn't work the way mine does…and never will. That doesn't make me a bad person…just a different person.

That being said, I have always gotten by. My intellect compensated for my lack of focus in school and at work. My ability to switch into high gear at the last minute compensated for my tendency to procrastinate. And my sense of humor and big heart compensated for everything else.

As an ADHD coach, I have learned how to devise strategies to help me survive in this crazy fast-paced world.  Although I am happy to share some of those strategies, be advised that they may not work for you because there is not a one-size-fits-all solution for the challenges associated with ADHD. This is the reason why all of those self-help books usually do more dust gathering than helping.

What exactly is coaching and why does it work? The main premise of coaching is that every client comes to us whole and complete, ready to generate their own perfect solutions.  When I coach clients, I don’t give them solutions, I help them to find their own perfect solutions. What I hope to do with this blog is inspire you to come up with your own answers, and realize that ADHD is a gift, a gift that makes you the unique person that you are.

So in the blogs to follow, I will talk about how I was/am able to muddle through…emphasis on the word muddle. I have come a long way, and have devised some creative solutions to compensate for the challenges I have encountered on my journey through life. As Dorothy Fields wrote for the musical SEESAW… "It's Not Where You Start, It's Where You Finish"…and I intend to finish at the top!

Turning Chaos

into Order:

How to Calm the 

Chaos in Your Life 

in Four Easy Steps  

Becoming organized has so many benefits. 

Perhaps the greatest is the ability to turn days filled with chaos into days of focus and effectiveness. Imagine how liberating it would be if you didn’t have to spend hours searching for misplaced items. Imagine how peaceful your days would be if you weren’t surrounded by clutter. Imagine how nice it would be to finally have the time to do the things you enjoy.

Organization is more than keeping things neat,

Below are four easy steps to calming the chaos in your life:

1.      Have a place for everything. This habit applies to your things, paper clutter, electronic clutter, and your activities.

·         Try to limit yourself to just three email accounts. I have one for business, one for personal emails, and one for promotional emails. The last account has drastically reduced the volume of my personal email account. I never liked the idea of giving out my personal email address to stores, but I didn’t want to miss out on the coupons. Now I know exactly where to go if I feel a shopping spree coming on.  

·         Find a solution for your scheduling. The best advice I can give you is to use ONE planner. I use a small pocket-sized planner that I carry with me ALL the time. If it’s not in my calendar, it doesn’t exist. It’s ok to transfer things to another calendar if other people need the information. For example, some families keep a calendar in a common area that includes the schedules of all family members. Just be sure that your personal calendar is your MASTER calendar, and refer to it when scheduling any events.

If you have a smart phone, and are comfortable with trusting an electronic device, it makes sense to take advantage of this technology. I still like to have things in writing…just in case. I do, however, use my iPhone as an additional source for reminders. There is a sticky note app that I just love, and the notes are all in one place!

·         Keep your physical areas clean. Use baskets, folders, bulletin boards, shelves, etc. to organize your things. Be as detailed as you can when dealing with your possessions. Come up with a system that works for you. There’s no reason to spend 30+ minutes over the course of a single day searching for items.

2.      Put items away immediately. Organized people tend to put things away immediately…disorganized people, not so much. It’s only after enough clutter piles up that they have enough discomfort to do anything about it. Then, it becomes a major project. And…we all know how people with ADHD are with major projects.

·         When you grab your mail, go through it and file it immediately. Leave a small a wastebasket at the door. Open your mail as soon as you get inside the house. If you are anything like me…most of it is junk. I strongly suggest you consider going paperless. It’s a lot easier to deal with mail clutter when it doesn’t get delivered on a daily basis.

·         Have a place for everything so you’ll be able to find it every time. AND… when you’re done using something, put it away. Immediately. Every time. Just do it! If you practice this behavior for several weeks, it will become a habit and you won’t have to think about doing it.

·         List that appointment in your system as soon as you schedule it. This is why I always have my planner with me. Oh sure, you say you’ll do it later, but I’m guessing you usually forget.  Trust me when I say, in order for an organizational system to work, you have to use it…in a timely manner.

3.      Have a daily routine. People with ADHD need structure to survive, much like a baby. Routines are a good way to develop habits, and once those habits are developed, they will become second nature.

·         There are many things that only take a few minutes if they’re done regularly. Daily maintenance can save the aggravation of a big job later on, so don’t let things pile up. Instead of switching channels during commercials, use that time to put five things away. It’s amazing how much you’ll have accomplished by the end of your favorite show.

·         Load the dishwasher before you go to bed. Make lunches the night before so you don’t have to scramble in the morning. Make sure your tote bag and the kids’ backpacks are ready to go (permission slips signed, etc.) and by the door.

·         Build in an extra hour for yourself. “Me” time is just as important as everything ells on your list.

4.      Create your to-do list each night. Keep the list inside your planner. Starting the day without a plan is like starting a road trip without a map or a GPS.  It’s far more challenging to get anything done when you have no idea of what it is that needs to get done. Before ending your day, spend a few minutes and list everything you’d like to accomplish. Prioritize your list for time and/or urgency, and work on only ONE task at a time. Once you have completed that task, re-prioritize and repeat the process.

Maybe it’s time to finally get organized and get your life and your clutter under control. Find your own system because that’s the only way it will work for YOU. You’ll be more relaxed, less stressed, more productive, more effective, and a better partner, parent and friend. Developing a couple of effective habits can really make a huge difference in your ability to stay focused on what’s most important to you!